Label : Comatose Records
Released : May 22, 2012
Calling all Sickos! Please take note – Kraanium has arrived to blow your mind. The rest of you should also take note – you may want to have a medical professional present – Kraanium has arrived to make you blow chunks. You also may end up with a case of whiplash as a result of head banging to Post Mortal Coital Fixation, which is the band’s third, and latest gem of a release. But don’t say we at Metalholic didn’t warn you.
Norway is normally associated with black metal acts of doom and destruction. As this publication has in the past discovered however – that is not the only type of talent that this country is capable of harboring. Kraanium has been around for quite some time now, having released three demos, two full length releases and a split before unleashing this monster upon us. However no amount of preparation is sufficient for the unseasoned listener to be desensitized to the utter brutality that is projectile vomited all over us on this record. The lineup has remained mostly consistent throughout the band’s career, featuring vocalist (or should I say gurglist) Martin Funderud, bassist Ian Slemming, drummer Mitch Rider, and guitar assault delivery by Mats Funderud and Vidar Ermesjø. The record features intestinal rupturing bass throughout, along with chunky, technical guitars that compliment Funderud’s throaty growl. The drumming seems slightly laid back – almost in the pocket, in the mix as well as in performance, with spontaneous moments of blast beating and technicality on certain songs. It was almost as if the band wanted you to focus more on the guitars and bass, rather than the drums on this release. Listeners however, will find themselves wishing that Rider would have opened up a little more, and told the mixing engineer to turn him up – as there seems to have been a great amount of seemingly un-used potential behind the kit.
One of this writer’s favorite things about a brutal death metal album such as Post Mortal Coital Fixation is the use of creative, raunchy, disgusting, and sickly hilarious song titles. The listener will find that the more politically incorrect song titles are also the highlights of the record. Enter “Slurping the Vaginal Pus”. The track fades in with speedy blast beating from Rider, and escalates into tight riffing, with wordless gurgling bringing to mind the exact imagery brought forth in the title of the song. Not exactly a sing-along, but highly enjoyable.
“Crack Whore Pounding” is also a memorable number vocally, due to Funderud’s use of a certain gurgling technique that will almost physically make the listener’s stomach turn. Add to that the use of explicit sampling throughout the track, and you have a recipe for a brutal death metal classic.
Last but not lease we pay tribute to the song with perhaps the best use of sampling on the record – the second to last track on the album, a piece entitled “Orgy of Cannibalistic Fornication”. The opening shrieks and sounds of carnage were unsettling enough to make any audio featured after that about ten times more disturbing.
Post Mortal Coital Fixation will leave you wanting more, clocking in at just over thirty minutes – but that length isn’t uncommon for albums in this genre. Fans of Putrid Pile, Amputated, Sikfuk, and Cattle Decapitation will absolutely be dying to get their hands on this release. The rest of you normal people out there… Try it if you dare, but don’t blame me if you end up spewing your tuna sandwiches on your keyboards.
Rating : 8.4/10
Highlights : Crack Whore Pounding, Slurping the Vaginal Pus
Doron aka The Sadistic Surgeon can be heard every Saturday night at 11PM EST on Metalholic Radio. Tune in, if you dare!